All body, no mind
DIRECTOR POOJA Bhatt has got the tagline of her film wrong. It reads ‘to love her is to die’. For the sake of all our friends and humanity in general we’re changing it. We made the ultimate sacrifice but maybe you can save yourselves, because ‘to watch this film is to die: one slow, painful death’.
So much time and effort has gone into making sure that Sunny Leone’s wardrobe has gaping holes everywhere that nobody bothered about the loopholes in the script. And they are there aplenty.
A top-secret agency (no one ever says which one) hires Izna (Sunny Leone) to liaison with her terrorist ex-boyfriend Kabir (Randeep Hooda). They want her to rekindle her relationship in order to gain access to some top-secret information that much-wanted Kabir keeps in his (gasp) Macbook Pro at his (double gasp) home.
So Izna and special agent Ayaan (Arunoday Singh) move in nextdoor as Kabir’s neighbours because the agents prefer that to storming in themselves (go figure). They may outnumber Kabir, but they believe their arms and ammunition are nothing compared to what Leone’s armed with. Yes, Sunny Leone is well-endowed, but you have to ask if dreaded terrorist Kabir was really that stupid. Have you fainted yet? Faced with a story that could have been written by a 6-year-old, we almost did (sorry 6-year-olds).
If we talk about the.. ahem.. acting (excuse us we just snorted). Well, it’s phenomenal. It’s the first (in at least our three decade life) that the acting of the entire cast has been so bad! Randeep Hooda floats through the film in equal parts drugged and disinterested. It’s almost frustrating to have seen him showcase his brilliance in films like Sahib, Biwi Aur Gangster, and then see this debacle. Arunoday Singh finds many reasons to walk through 80 percent of his role shirtless. But kind sir, the sight of your six-pack did not deter us from laughing at all the wrong cues. The audience would roar in laughter only to realise it was a sad scene.
Sunny Leone had some very large shoes to fill in viz-a-viz her predecessor of Jism-land, Bipasha Basu. But where Bips’ was a classic act, Leone is, can you believe it, not erotic enough! It’s not Leone’s fault, this being her first mainstream hindi film. And we’ll be the first one to admit unabashedly that she’s a great looker with curves evoking equal amounts of sighs and hmpffs. You can’t fault her for being given a film where all she had to do was hyperventilate in the form of a heaving bosom.
The joy of simple storytelling
FORGIVE HEMANT Gaba for the strange title of his indie flick. By lending itself to the obvious ‘cock’ joke, Shuttlecock Boys only tries to gain from the initial curiousity. The male-bonding storyline is clean and that is a refreshing change. And the timing of the film is perfect as it comes during the Olympics.
It’s the story of four boys who become friends while playing badminton together. The shuttlers are unhappy in their respective vocations and want to try something different. One of them comes up with the idea of starting a catering company and the rest of the film documents how he convinces the others to join him in the venture, the hurdles they face and what they finally achieve.
Shuttlecock Boys is too simplistic in its appeal and too realistic in its approach, so much so that sometimes it feels like one is watching the film at home video. The four boys are very regular and that makes them relatable. Their problems are regular too and their desires are not extraordinary, but it is impressive that they want to change.
What makes the male-camaraderie plot is its refrain from double-meaning humour. There is a fair amount of brotherly love, but it doesn’t veer on bromance. The boys act well and there is a good mix as far as characters are concerned.
The film has all the elements of drama, romance, action and emotion and yet its subtly done. Shuttlecock Boys is a good first attempt and must be encouraged. Don’t expect to be floored but you won’t be disappointed either.
WELCOME TO the world of time-pass films. Please don’t judge, time-pass is not necessarily a bad term. In a wonky great divide between good films and terrible films, these breaks are refreshing.
There’s always a walking talking dreamboat (in this case Colin Farrell), a non-Oscar winning but interesting storyline and good-looking women (Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel).
Total Recall begins in a futuristic world where earth has been ruined by chemical warfare, and there now exist just two habitable places: A very Star-Wars looking Great Britain for the elite and a colony for the less-priviledged in Australia, that looks surprisingly like a cross between Beijing and Bangkok. The two places are connected through a tunnel running through the earth’s core.
It’s in this scenario that Douglas Quaid (Farrell) finds himself living a discontent life in the colony, inspite of a gorgeous wife (Beckinsale). His uneasiness is not unfounded for he later discovers his forgotten other life.
It is of course a predicament brought in by entities of the villainous kind. There is a plot to end the world (a part of it), but the good people do survive.
Great effects, ample amount of action and a lot of running around makes Total Recall edition 2012 a good watch. It’s not a masterpiece (it’s called Total Recall you know), but it is a fast-moving thriller.