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    From Tehelka Magazine, Vol 9, Issue 03, Dated 21 Jan 2012

    Heist School Musical





    Abhishek Bachchan, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Sonam Kapoor, Bipasha Basu

    Senti Meter
    Players Score -20
    Warning: May not be worth your money

    The Plot
    Players is Abbas-Mustan’s official adaptation of The Italian Job, the Hollywood heist film starring Mark Wahlberg, Ed Norton, Charlize Theron and Seth Green. A band of conmen make the biggest heist in their careers, one of them betrays the rest and runs away with the loot. The survivors of the betrayal decide to avenge the deaths and to steal the gold back from him.

    By Mona J

    -8 Because With A Clever Script, the dialogue is a little too simplified. C’mon guys, don’t do that!

    -5 To The Songs. Unnecessary and boring. Minus five because Mr Abbas and Mr Mustan, the ’90s are over. Songs need to be used differently in today’s stories.

    +3 To Johnny Lever. On the phone! Remember Baazigar?!

    +10 To Bipasha Basu. What you been eating, girl? That bikini shot was pure Queen Bee oomph, reminding the rest that she’s still got it. And then she goes all Rosie the Riveter on our ass.

    +6 To Neil Nitin Mukesh, the heist film geek till he becomes Ed Norton. Minus three to Sonam Kapoor for playing the girl who’s studying for her exams.

    +5 To Abbas-Mustan, the kings of Hollywood adaptations, for they returned to their Baazigar standards in the first half. The heists were smart and only a little over the top.

    -5 Because For Gold Worth Rs 10,000 Crore, the security standards of the fictional Russian army were abysmal.

    +5 For Omi Vaidya And Sikandar Kher’s Virgil And Turk Malloy (Ocean’s Eleven) Act, including insulting bystanders who interrupt the act.

    -10 Because Between The Interval And The Return Of Johnny Lever, it is yawn-inducing and Neil’s character reaches caricaturesque heights of supervillainy with a palace, an army and live feeds from the cameras at a club.

    -5 Because The Part Where Theron Becomes A Cable Girl In The Italian Job,Sonam Kapoor becomes a gold-digging item girl.

    -6 Because The Movie Could’ve Done Without 30-Odd Minutes. And I shall deduct two more points for dragging the climax till I banged my head against the wall.


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    From Tehelka Magazine, Vol 9, Issue 03, Dated 21 Jan 2012

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